Fabulous Fro Friday: Renatta Campbell

This is a day on AfroTina that we honor beautiful women.  A fabulous fro woman represents a woman who is at peace with her physical beauty despite cultural or social norms.  Personally, natural hair and dark skin have been a struggle for me but your challenge may be different. Fabulous Fro Friday is to showcase that woman from any ethnicity who is happy and confident in her own skin.


*If this is you and you would like to be featured on AfroTina, I would love to hear your story. tinascott@me.com*

AT: Hi, tell us a little about yourself? What makes you tick?

RC: My name's Renatta and I am 28 years old and I'm an event planner. What makes me tick is socializing, so I love staying busy. I pretty much always keep my calendar full! My world is composed of serving Jesus, being with friends and family, and enjoying life. 

AT: How would you describe pure beauty?

RC: Pure beauty is what comes out of a person who genuinely and confidently expresses who they are. When you discover and embrace your own style, and are comfortable displaying it. That is striking! And the fantastic thing is that people around you take notice. The best part is that the people who will be drawn to you are those who recognize and appreciate pure beauty!

 AT: How has that definition of pure beauty been true in your life?

RC: What I know about myself is that I try not to stress over how I look.  I don't wear make up, except a little on special occasions. Because I enjoy just being me, I'm generally happy as long as I feel comfortable - and for me, that doesn't take too much effort and then I’m more apt to appreciate the beauty of others. 

AT: What inspires your style?

RC: Oh gosh. You know, I'm not sure. It seems like I look at something and it either grabs me, or it doesn't. I like color and accessories. I like the creative use of things: hairstyles, jewelry, and all the combinations in between. Oh and I can’t forget layers, I love layers! 

AT: What are your most valuable qualities?

RC: Haha! I guess that's in the eye of the beholder. I would say my perception and communication are my most valuable qualities. I've found that being able to perceive what is going on around and communicate it to others in a clear and efficient way has been vital pretty much wherever I go. It sounds like something that would be commonplace, but I've gotten the impression that it's not.

AT: When and Why did you go natural with your hair?

RC: I made the official decision to go natural in August of 2008 (though I'd been w/o a relaxer for at least 8 months before then). I had never liked spending a lot of time on my hair (I'm all about low maintenance) and I was just spending way too much time on it and never feeling that it even looked very nice. In August, I ended up cutting it off due to some major damage, and just figured I'd see what life would be like without a relaxer. (It's been great, by the way!) 

AT: What are your favorite hair products?

RC: Honestly, I'm still discovering that. Recently I came across an olive oil hair & scalp treatment that has worked well for me (and it smells great). I'm not quick to jump around with different products (plus, I don't like spending a lot of money on them). So I tend to keep my eye out for products that get lots of recommendations and good reviews.

AT: What is your favorite hairstyle?

RC: The Fro-Hawk. Hands down. It's everything I love all in one place: big hair, 80's fashion, different from the norm... What can I say? :) 

AT: What do you love about wearing your hair natural? Greatest challenge?

RC: The ease and freedom is what I love most. There's not much that I need to worry about my hair anymore. I don't have to plan my day or activities around it. When I wash, it's not a multi-hour endeavor. I don't have to fight it; it's like we're working together. The greatest challenge is that I'm still learning what my hair naturally does. I've finally realized that even though my hair is 7 inches long, it will shrink down to 3 inches every time I wash it. I'm still in infancy stage with my hair so I haven't figured out what all to expect.

 AT: How does the media influence your self-image?

RC: My immediate thought was "it doesn't", but I know that's naive. On a conscious level, media can inspire me or give me ideas of things to try (or avoid). I recognize that ultimately, if I try the hair or shoe or dress that I loved on ‘so-in-so’ and it doesn't feel or look right, I know it's not "me" and I'm content moving on.

AT: What is your victory statement, chant or montra: what allows you to rise above inundation of negativity, negative self-talk. What keeps your beauty pure on the inside?

RC: Mainly I rise by remembering that I'm a child of the King and my value come from who He says I am.

AT: Is there anything else you would like to add?

RC: I've received a number of interesting compliments since I've gone natural. And only some of the compliments are from other black people. They are generally along the lines of kudos for my decision - like I've made some sort of statement or shaken up the status quo. I've never thought of hair as a symbol of freedom, but I'm wondering if - at least in American culture - there is some sort of implicit correlation...

Steve Harvey on natural hairstyles

It is shocking to me that men and women within our own race are so resistant to natural hair.  Where is the love? How are young black women supposed to step out and embrace their natural beauty when public figures within our race are so unwelcoming?

As first reported by Honey Brown Sugar Steve Harvey on his morning show stated this……..

 A lady called in to ask the guest stylist a hair related question. As part of her question she mentions she is natural and wears her hair twisted and untwisted for the crinkled look. She wanted to know how to keep her hair from breaking and how to keep it moisturized. The guest stylist then proceeds to give her a product recommendation (from the line he was representing, Soft Sheen). 

Steve then throws in the following question: Do you have a man? The caller responds by saying "yes", he then goes on to ask, "how does he like your hair?", she then says , "he doesn't like the natural look".... Steve's response: "I knew it! YOU GONNA LOSE YO' MAN!" and then they cut to a commercial. 

  

Oh my… I sure hope he doesn’t have children, (after some research I see he does). It’s parents like this that pass on discriminative ideas to the next generation.   Whether natural hair is his preference or not, he certainly should appreciate the strength of a woman embracing her true beauty and showing it off to the world. But then again, a man like this wouldn’t recognize true beauty if it slapped him in the face.

It’s unfortunate that we have to care about what Steve Harvey says…but like it or not he is an influential black male voice in our culture…. But ultimately, who cares....

Something tells me he doesn’t top the charts of noble character.

Being Afro in a Straight World: What will people think?

My trip to the salon to get my first natural hair do was December of 2006.  I left the salon and I looked like this… 

Everyone at the salon was very complimentary but I had knots in my stomach… I was stripped of my long hair, even though it previously belonged to an innocent young girl in India or was manufactured in a lab somewhere alongside the hair used for Barbie, it still validated my beauty. I know for many of you that is not the case but unfortunately I had stooped that low. 

The next day was Sunday and I would be taking my first trip to church with my new look, which I knew would be the truest test of my resolve.  Before I would have to make that nervous trek I left the salon and went to my friend Jilly Woo’s house for some reassurance. I took a moment and put fresh lipstick on and some earrings so that I could make the best first impression possible.

I went in sheepishly with a huge question mark on my face. She was more than welcoming… she loved it!! and has been an Afro Champion of mine ever since.

When I left her house, the negative self-talk took a back seat and a sense of soul satisfaction in my natural beauty began to grow.

 

The next morning I got ready for church and did the best with what I had to work with.

As we got closer to church I was battling one of the most toxic worries of all time… WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK?

I thought I was going to buckle at the knees during those first few weeks while I reintroduced myself to friends who didn’t immediately recognize me. BUT you know what?? I didn’t get chopped off at the knees, I may have pitted out a few times but I survived. More importantly the internal growth that was taking place in me was monumental.

Don’t be a victim to those fears that enslave you. ‘WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK? The answer to this is… I don’t know. The bigger question is why does it matter so much? When you accept you, then others can begin to accept you, and then you can begin to start living the life you were born to live.

Fabulous Fro Friday: Sierra Carter

Fabulous Fro Friday is the day on AfroTina that we honor a beautiful woman.  A fabulous fro woman represents a woman who is at peace with her physical beauty despite cultural or social norms.  Personally, natural hair and dark skin have been a struggle for me but your challenge may be different. Fabulous Fro Friday is to showcase that woman who is happy and confident in her own skin. 

AfroTina is ecstatic to introduce you to a confident young woman, Sierra Carter. She is beautiful from the inside out and has taken the time to share her thoughts with us.

            ***************************

AT: Hi, tell us a little about yourself? What makes you tick?

SC: Hello! I’m a 22 year old recent college graduate from UNC Chapel Hill and upcoming PhD student in clinical psychology at the University of Georgia. I just moved to Athens, GA this summer from Virginia and I’m looking forward to what the future may bring. I love food, family, and friends and hopefully not in that order...haha.  In regards to research and life what really makes me tick is helping to reduce racial health disparities.  I hope to pursue research that will help to shed light on the social issues facing ethnically diverse populations as well as provide evidence-based ways of preventing further suffering within vulnerable individuals and communities.

AT: How would you describe pure beauty?

SC: For me, I think pure beauty all revolves around comfort. I always find it strikingly beautiful when people have an understanding of themselves and an ability to feel comfortable in his or her own skin.  No matter the body type, skin tone, or hair texture, the ability to take responsibility and understand one’s own self exudes beauty.

AT: How has that definition of pure beauty true in your life?

SC: My definition for pure beauty is something I am still working towards. Even though I may not always consciously think I am conveying pure beauty I have found one thing to be true. Hair is a statement. Being natural has almost forced me in a way to notice my insecurities and find my own comfort and sense of identity. And void of societal pressures in my transition to being natural has allowed me to see how I am bringing my own perspective to the world’s visual reality of truth.

AT: What inspires your style?

SC: Hmm.. I would definitely say I’m inspired by others. Especially people I admire. It’s so great to find people that have a style similar to your own yet immensely different at the same time. Noticing pieces and ideas from others here and there inspires my style. I also think I have a personal style which is becoming more and more carefree and based on ease and comfort these days.

AT: What are your most valuable qualities?

SC: People have told me that I am becoming more open to different viewpoints. Even though I do have a stronghold of beliefs and values, I think having and aspiring to be open to others opinions is personally, very valuable to me. Last week someone anonymously wrote in my ‘honesty box’ on Facebook (Yes I thought no one used this anymore!) and described me as “humble and quiet.” Although I have no idea how much this person actually knows me, they are qualities that I value.

AT: What are your favorite hair products?

SC: I’m still in search of favorite hair products, but right now I really like Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Conditioner. It’s very easy on the wallet compared to other conditioners, and it really helps my hair with detangling and keeping it moisturized. I also like DevaCurl Set It Free (moisture lock) leave-in conditioner. I’ve only used this product for about a month now, but overall I like it. I’m still looking for the “best” leave-in conditioner though. It’s always trial and error with me, and I have definitely found that what may work for one person may not work for you.

AT: What is your favorite hairstyle?

SC: Well the only style I know how to do well is the two-strand twists and then the twist out style. I usually only try to twist my hair once a week, leaving in the twists for about 3 days and wearing the twist out style for the rest of the week. Now that my hair is starting to grow more I’m looking for a more time-efficient style.  There are a lot of internet sites/blogs that have some great styles to try and I love tutorials because I wouldn’t characterize myself as a good hairstylist.

AT: What movie is guaranteed to make you laugh?

SC: The Hangover

AT: What do you love about wearing your hair natural? Greatest challenge?

SC: I love the uniqueness of being natural. I had relatively long hair before I went natural in November 2008, and although I wouldn’t say it was something I used to hide behind, it was a way to “fit in.” Now I really enjoy not only my hair’s versatility but the distinctiveness it brings when you’re among a crowd. Even among other women who are natural, it is amazing how many different styles and textures you can see and I love it! The greatest challenge is probably maintenance. But in comparison to having permed hair in the past, I love not having to worry about planning my hair around exercise and weather.

AT: How does the media influence your self-image?

SC: All the time. The absence and/or lack of representation can always make you question why you are not going along with what the media endorses. I will say that after being natural I have found a lot of encouraging and supportive websites/blogs (like this one!) that show that you are not alone in your journey. The media can both intentionally and unintentionally persuade one to conform to assumptions and cause you to question why you went natural in the first place. In my observation the media's ideal of beauty (clothes, weight, hair, etc.) can yield to a constant rollercoaster ride of thoughts. I am both glad and sad to know that I’m not in this battle alone.

AT: What is your victory statement, chant or montra: what allows you to rise above inundation of negativity, negative self-talk. What keeps your beauty pure on the inside?

SC: Self awareness not self debasement. You can take many paths to get to the same place of understanding. Find a path and enjoy your natural journey.

Thank you very much for your time Sierra. You are an extraordinary example of pure confident beauty.

A 3yr. old getting a Weave

Despicable Me? More like Despicable Grandma!

This is appalling and disturbing but when I saw it was shown on TLC’s Toddlers and Tiaras show I wasn’t surprised.

All of these little girls have been possibly set on a dangerous path and in particular this little black who is having a weave sewn in her hair for the first time and then the fact that she says “my hair is long, now I am pretty.” Long hair is pretty and hair has been described as a woman’s crown of glory but it mustn’t be regarded as a requirement for prettiness, especially for little black girls. When the fact is most of us will never have long flowing hair.

If we, as grown women, do not embrace a positive self-image how can we expect to pass it on to the next generation? Does anyone else see the disparity here and the urgency?  I was recently at my doctor’s office when I overheard a mother talking on the phone about how she encouraged her 12yr old daughter to take the popular diet pill Alli.  Just as I was going to butt in with my two cents of brilliance I was called back to see the nurse. The importance of us mothers and grandmothers being healthy from the inside out is crucial.  The best gift we can give our young girls is the example of a healthy lifestyle and a positive self-image.  That is what this 3yr old girl needs from her Grandmother, confidence and strength in what she is, not needles, thread and hair out of a package.

No despicable women here!!!

Fabulous Fro Friday: Onnie Rogers

AT: Hi Onnie, tell us a little about yourself? What makes you tick?

OR: Hello AfroTina readers. I am a 29 yr old PhD student from New York University. I have been married to Chad Rogers for 7 years. And for the last 5 years we have been living in Manhattan and regularly visiting our families on the west coast. More recently we have relocated to Texas for my husband to continue his pilot training at Sheppard Air Force Base. 

My degree is in developmental psychology and my research is at the intersection of psychology and education. I research how the school environment and social stereotypes influence how youth see themselves and others.

I would describe myself as an introvert.  I enjoy reading and knitting to refresh myself and be reenergized for life.

NYU Blog

AT: How would you describe pure beauty?

OR: I always admire natural beauty something that exudes beauty from its essence like a beautifully colored flower. When a woman can tap into that natural beauty that shines from her core; that is pure beauty.

AT: How is that definition of pure beauty true in your life?

OR: Well, I’d like to think that I am a very sincere and authentic person. I see these qualities in my relationships. For example, I tend to seek out fewer but more meaningful, deep connections.

AT: What inspires your style?

OR: I wish I had something snazzy to say here but honestly, practicality is first on my list. I look for what makes the most sense and start there. When I do shop, I look for comfortable and timeless items and mix it with trendy. Style to me = comfort.

AT: What are your most valuable qualities?

OR: I seek to be humble. I have been told that I read social interactions well; that I am sensitive to subtle gestures and the energy and participation of a group.

AT: What are your favorite hair products?

OR: I don’t leave town without Miss Jessie’s Baby Buttercream. I have used Carol’s Daughter’s Tui oil. But more recently I have been using Olive Root stimulator products.

AT: What is your favorite hairstyle?

OR: The two strand twist set. I wear it twisted for at least 3 days. Then I take it out. The following three days is perfect hair for me, curly defined bliss. After that it is just nappy, but only to me because everyone else loves it. 

AT: What movie is guaranteed to make you laugh?

OR: “Devil Wears Prada”  “Baby Mama”  “How to lose a guy in 10 days”

AT: What do you love about wearing your hair natural? Greatest challenge?

OR: When I first went natural it was all about getting my hair healthy. I was tired of the cycle, perms then breakage then braids.  I was done with extensions and feeling fake.

I like that my hair is healthy and that it is mine. My natural hairstyle represents a security in my authentic beauty.  I have been natural since 2005 and I liked having my hair being different from other black women that is not so much the case now but I still like the authenticity of my beauty.

I also like being a voice of social change. In my study groups we are always discussing stereotypes and when the movie “Good Hair” came out I got to give a teachable moment as the official representative of the black hair experience. They asked why is it so meaningful?  I answered, to look at silky hair on commercials and have it represented, as the standard of beauty and professionalism and to know you will never have that hair is what it means to be a black woman.  I love that I get to be a voice and explain to people why it actually matters.

Greatest Challenge:  Finding a beautician and the feeling of isolation.  The process, the cost, and the maintenance are challenging.  My hair also has its own schedule. So I have to plan its 2 week cycle around events.

AT: How does the media influence your self-image?

OR: Constantly, explicitly and implicitly. I think the impact of not seeing yourself represented is equally as impactful.

AT: What is your victory statement? or What keeps your beauty pure on the inside?

OR: My upbringing. I always remind myself that I am God’s creation that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. There is beauty designed in me, God ordained and God constructed.  This beauty in me naturally exists. I don’t have to go get it.   

The bigger question is how do I stay connected to that? Part of it is external. I get positive messages from my parents, friends, and my husband. Being in a cross-race marriage gives new perspective to my view of my beauty.  My husband is white, an outsider, and loves my chocolate skin and hair as the ultimate beauty.

- AfroTina would love to showcase your fabulous fro and discuss the definition of pure beauty. Maybe you know someone who would be perfect for a feature. Please contact me for an interview:) tinascott@me.com -

Naomi and bald spots!?!?

If only Naomi Campbell could wear wigs and look like my son Tyson and still get work she wouldn’t be suffering from traction alopecia.... 

It is unfortunate that our most famous black supermodel is loosing her hair because the model industry demands that she have long straight flowing hair to get work. Now rightly so, many models are walking wheat thins for the same reason and I agree that eating disorders is more life threatening than bald spots but the underlying point still remains.  

WHY are we starving our bodies and ripping out our hair to achieve an artificial standard of beauty? Stop the madness!!!

 

I say, love what you have been made to be. Don’t give a number on a piece of clothing the power to depress you and don’t go bald trying to cover up the type of hair that grows out of your head naturally.  

Let's be women who seek for truth in our beauty and then be proud of it.

*Love WHAT you are so that you can be WHO you are*

Being Afro in a Straight World:Hair Committee

Did I mention I was Miss Washington 1999?  Yes it is true. I competed for the 2000 Miss America title in Atlantic City.  I enjoyed my pageant experience and the $25,000 I earned to pay for college.  What an incredible opportunity and memorable time for me. The volunteers and ambassadors that run this worldwide organization are so passionate and I am happy to be affiliated with this famous network.

In terms of self-acceptance, these 2 years of pageantry were a very tumultuous hair time.   I was the 2^nd black Miss Washington the State had seen in 20 years! As I prepped for Miss America there were many issues on the agenda but for those first few weeks my hair topped the list. The question?  “what are we going to do with our newly crowned queen’s hair?”  Between my embarrassment, resistance and their plans to fix my hair problems, my hair ended up with its own committee, or at least it felt like it did.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the pageant process, here are some pageant cliff notes.

1.     1. You win a local title, generally a county or city title such as in my case Miss       Pierce County.  

2.     2. You proceed to the State pageant and compete against all of the other local title-holders. 

I competed twice for my local pageant and won the title in 1999. During that time I did with my hair what I knew to do; leave it in braids and the week of the pageant take it out, perm it if necessary, and wrap it up in a curly bun for competition.  After I won my local title in 1999, I braided my hair back up because that’s all I knew to do…. Well, the pageant hair committee said… NO WAY. 

So once again, my hair issues were center stage and this time I had less control than ever. I was vulnerable, nervous, and embarrassed. As the committee said… does she have hair? Her hair is sooo thin? It’s definitely not long enough? She has to get a weave!  One of the committee members said to me… “a black woman with braids or natural hair would not be allowed to anchor the news”  “And that is the look we are going for, Tina, a young professional.”  The concept of portraying my natural beauty was not even considered. 

Most of me agreed with the committee, my hair was problematic which I interpreted as my beauty was broken. There was a smaller part of me that wanted to scream… “Leave me alone! I am BEAUTIFUL just the way I am…. I think.”

We are conditioned to measure our standard of beauty by what magazines, TV, movies etc. set as the standard. When in actuality, we should always ask, what is natural and beautiful for me? Then look to media for tips and tricks to enhance and look our best.  

If I were competing today, I would compete with my Afro because I am confident that this look expresses my true beauty. And I believe we are moving toward a day when we will see a black woman with an Afro or another natural hairstyle anchoring the news.

Your best you is in knowing what you are, loving what you are so that you can be who are*

Fabulous Fro Friday

For this Fabulous Fro Friday AfroTina is featuring hollywood’s natural hair champions.  

I am regularly baffled at how amongst our own race there is discrimination regarding natural hairstyles.  I wonder why? I had a black male relative tease me so bad that I kicked him out of my house. I don’t see him much and he was beside himself that my hair was in a natural style, he called me buckwheat and nappy headed. I was so new to the style and emotionally raw I didn’t exactly know how to handle his words, because at the moment part of me agreed with him.  I have since moved past the event but I am still surprised at how black men and women tend to reject the hairstyle. I wonder if it is because of the challenge it is to today’s standard of beauty and professionalism or if it is simply a preference? Either way, I think if we are quick to accept the look ourselves then everyone else will follow. And isn’t that a LIFE 101 nugget… accept yourself and then others can accept you.

Here are some HI-Fives to Hollywood’s Afro Champions! They are far and few between but the look and movement is growing.

The adorable Monique Coleman from the High School Musical Cast. This is a new look for her. 

The talented Inda Arie. 

The musical Leela James

The gifted Erykah Badu

The inspirational Jill Scott

The beautiful Solange Knowles. Who is a recent natural hair champion!

Bald and Beautiful

What an incredible story of self-acceptance and the true meaning of beauty. As a former ‘Miss’ myself I am proud to see a reigning queen getting good press.  

The essence of the story does raise the question.... What does it mean to be beautiful?  Is it Heidi Klum or Tyra Banks? I say, yes. But it is also this courageous Miss America contestant, Kayla Martell. 

Let’s be women who see the complete version of beauty. Not just the outward physical appearance, but also the inner-beauty that doesn’t wrinkle. 

(CBS/AP)  Newly-crowned Miss Delaware Kayla Martell isn't your average beauty queen.

The bright and bubbly 21-year old Milford native suffers from an autoimmune disease called alopecia, which attacks hair follicles.

Miss Delaware-Bald, Beautiful

Martell has been bald nearly ten years, but she hasn't let that stop her from going for her dreams. After five years, she was crowned Miss Delaware on June 12, and her biggest was inspiration, a five-year-old girl named Lilliana Hakim, who suffers from the same disease.

Both Kayla and Lilliana appeared on "The Early Show" Monday to discuss their stories with co-anchor Erica Hill.

Kayla began losing her hair at the age of ten. In fifth grade, she noticed that her part was widening, and when the bald spot kept growing, she was diagnosed with alopecia. But she handled it with grace, especially through her adolescent years.

"For me, I was just very confident in myself because of the great family and friends that I have. And, you know, I think I was a better person because of the faith that I had. It didn't make me nervous to go out without the wig for any reason," Kayla said.

But she still wears a wig sometimes, because she feels more approachable that way.

"I think I can be a better Miss Delaware and Miss America by taking the wig off, because it shows people the initial reaction that I am healthy and I'm fine. All we do is we lose our hair, right?" Kayla asked rhetorically.

She gladly took it off during "The Early Show" to show how comfortable and confident she is.

But she almost walked away from her Miss America dreams -- until Lilliana told her she couldn’t give up.

When Hill asked Lilliana how she'd inspired Kayla, Lilliana gave a smile and a nod, but was too shy to answer.

"Do you remember what you said to me when I said I didn't know if I wanted to come back to Miss Delaware?" coaxed Kayla. "Do you remember you told me that I was your Miss America and I had to keep trying, right?"

And keep trying, she did. Kayla has competed without her wig twice now. She won the title with it. "But, you know, when I competed without the wig, it was great because I was really representing who I am," she said.

When Kayla was crowned, Lilliana got to play a very special part on-stage.

"What did do you at Miss Delaware?" Kayla gently asked Lilliana. "Did you walk on the stage with me in an evening gown? Yeah, she and her sister both escorted me in my evening gown."

But Kayla doesn't think she won because she happened to have hair on that night. Asked if she thinks her win has anything to do with the fact that she competed with a wig this time around, she responded, "Not at all. I hope the judges picked me because I knew I could fulfill the jobs of Miss Delaware."

After Kayla's win, her inspiration, Lilliana, got to try on the crown along with all her friends at camp, which caters to children with alopecia.

Lilliana nodded and smiled when Hill asked her if perhaps one day, she hopes to be like Kayla and compete for the Miss America title.

But for Kayla, the next step is to use her new position to raise awareness about the disease, and those who have it.

"The biggest thing is just to find other people out there who have alopecia," she said. "If you find someone who can be supportive of you and you can learn from, that's the greatest thing, to build relationships, and that's why I'm so happy Lilly and I can be close." 

Being Afro in a Straight World: Cross Over

I have a wonderful husband, did I mention that in a previous post?, if not let me say it again. I have a wonderful husband:) We met our senior year in high school and have been married for 10 years. He is very handsome and certainly doesn’t look like the type who would have a black woman on his arm. He attended a private catholic school and took golf lessons in the summer for goodness sake.  It is often times awkward at events while people adjust to the reality of me being his wife. Their eyes widen, and eye brows raise as they say…. “oh, hi”.  With that being said, he has never once wanted me to look any other way than what I look like naturally. One of the movies we enjoy is “Something New” with Sanaa Lathan, Simon Baker, and Blair Underwood.  I always shake my head at the fact that the white guy who loves her is encouraging her to wear her hair natural and the black guy is asking her to put her weave back in.

My husband has been asking me to wear my hair in an afro since we have been together, 1997. He would help me take my hair out of braids and my hair would be afro crimped and he would say, “I love it just like this honey. Wear it like that”.  I felt loved for me, but at the same time I didn’t believe him.  And it is sad that my fear of challenging mainstream culture was more of a stronghold in me than the love of my husband. However, I know that the change in me that has occurred over the last 5 years due largely to the acceptance and love of my husband.  Our culture has changed toward natural black hairstyles as well, in media and with new products emerging. But my husband regularly telling me I am beautiful, and loving my natural hair has had the largest impact.

At the beginning of June I asked him for the very last time this question; with two pictures in my hand from a current magazine, I  asked “soooo you truly prefer this gal over this gal?” He gave me an exuberant and somewhat exhausted YES!

And you know what, for the first time I believed him. 

Of course it is not him who has changed but me who has started to believe.  As always it is important to note that Scarlett Johansson is beautiful but the newsflash to me is that.... so is Tomiko Fraser.

I am so glad that I am crossing to the other side of this internal battle. It is so much healthier for my soul.  As a mother of a daughter I will be able to lead her by example, which is always more powerful than words.

I encourage you to cross over to the side of your internal battles, whatever they may be. Rightly so, some battles may take professional and medicinal support but the point is, don’t give up… you are worth it and those you influence will be better for it.   

Fabulous Fro Friday

Happy Friday Friends!
Friday’s, on Afro Tina, will now pay tribute to all the fabulous fro’s in my world and in THE world. As a natural hair advocate I think it is important to showcase this hairstyle as beautiful, attractive and respectable.

I saw this Afro and was struck by its beauty. Her hair is so full and I love her happy face.

I am on the hunt for beautiful Afros! If you have a fabulous Afro hairstyle or picture send it my way. I would love to showcase it.

Have a good weekend.

tinascott@me.com