Monday, July 5, 2010

Being Afro in a Straight World: Cross Over

I have a wonderful husband, did I mention that in a previous post?, if not let me say it again. I have a wonderful husband:) We met our senior year in high school and have been married for 10 years. He is very handsome and certainly doesn’t look like the type who would have a black woman on his arm. He attended a private catholic school and took golf lessons in the summer for goodness sake.  It is often times awkward at events while people adjust to the reality of me being his wife. Their eyes widen, and eye brows raise as they say…. “oh, hi”.  With that being said, he has never once wanted me to look any other way than what I look like naturally. One of the movies we enjoy is “Something New” with Sanaa Lathan, Simon Baker, and Blair Underwood.  I always shake my head at the fact that the white guy who loves her is encouraging her to wear her hair natural and the black guy is asking her to put her weave back in.


My husband has been asking me to wear my hair in an afro since we have been together, 1997. He would help me take my hair out of braids and my hair would be afro crimped and he would say, “I love it just like this honey. Wear it like that”.  I felt loved for me, but at the same time I didn’t believe him.  And it is sad that my fear of challenging mainstream culture was more of a stronghold in me than the love of my husband. However, I know that the change in me that has occurred over the last 5 years due largely to the acceptance and love of my husband.  Our culture has changed toward natural black hairstyles as well, in media and with new products emerging. But my husband regularly telling me I am beautiful, and loving my natural hair has had the largest impact.

At the beginning of June I asked him for the very last time this question; with two pictures in my hand from a current magazine, I  asked “soooo you truly prefer this gal over this gal?” He gave me an exuberant and somewhat exhausted YES!


And you know what, for the first time I believed him. 

Of course it is not him who has changed but me who has started to believe.  As always it is important to note that Scarlett Johansson is beautiful but the newsflash to me is that.... so is Tomiko Fraser.

I am so glad that I am crossing to the other side of this internal battle. It is so much healthier for my soul.  As a mother of a daughter I will be able to lead her by example, which is always more powerful than words.

I encourage you to cross over to the side of your internal battles, whatever they may be. Rightly so, some battles may take professional and medicinal support but the point is, don’t give up… you are worth it and those you influence will be better for it.   

13 comments:

Jamyrlyn Mallory said...

Hello! Love this...of course your hubby thinks your beautiful right???? XOXOXOXO

Molly said...

This is one of your best e-vah!!! I'm crossing over, but I still have fro envy...

AfroTina said...

Thank you sooo much Jam and Mol.

NewbieNaturalDiva said...

There is something so fresh and royal about a black woman with a crowning head of natural hair embracing her natural beauty. Love yours as well because it is beautiful and it is naturally you! Your husband is a man that probably doesn't care for any "artificial" ingrediants. :)

NewbieNaturalDiva said...

There is something so fresh and royal about a black woman with a crowning head of natural hair embracing her natural beauty. Love yours as well because it is beautiful and it is naturally you! Your husband is a man that probably doesn't care for any "artificial" ingrediants. :)

AfroTina said...

So true NatrualDiva... Thank you.

Molly said...

Had to add another comment:
Meanwhile, my Iowa white daughter will only wear the pull-ups with the brown-skinned fairy princess. Not the white one, or even the one with both of them on it! Gotta love that :)

AfroTina said...

gotta love it... :)

fely:) said...

Rob isn't the only one who thinks you're gorgeous, Tina! I'm glad you're realizing more deeply than ever just how truly beautiful you always are :) :) :)

annamae said...

Love, Love LOVE!!! Yes, you are truly beautiful, naturally!

AfroTina said...

Fely and Anna. Freedom is the best... Thanks girls

Angela said...

You are beautiful!! I love the article, great insight!!!

AfroTina said...

Thank you Angela... very glad you enjoyed it:)